Reacting vs. Responding: The Sponsorship Skill Every Purpose-Driven Executive Needs

Lori Zoss Kraska, MBA, CFRE

I get it. You have the perfect sponsorship program, a mission that aligns beautifully, and impact metrics that shine—but a sponsor still gives unexpected challenging feedback.

And let's be honest. We might go into a mode where the feedback spins our wheels into an abyss. Then we react instead of respond, which can risk derailing the relationship before it ever truly begins.

So let's look at the difference ...

The Subtle Yet Powerful Difference

Reacting is quick, emotional, and often defensive. It’s driven by pressure, fear, or surprise.

Responding is intentional, composed, and forward-thinking. It’s rooted in clarity and confidence in your mission and values.

When a sponsor questions ROI or asks to revise messaging for example, it’s natural to feel caught off guard. I’ve been there. But in today’s environment, sponsors are looking for collaborative, strategic partners—not reactive vendors. Responding with purpose positions your organization as calm, credible, and committed.

Why We Tend to React

It’s not just about professionalism—it’s also about biology. Science tells us that when we receive unexpected feedback or feel blindsided by a sponsor, our brain’s amygdala—the part responsible for processing threats—can go into overdrive. It triggers a “fight, flight, or freeze” response before our logical brain (the prefrontal cortex) has a chance to weigh in. This is why we sometimes feel the urge to defend ourselves or respond emotionally in the moment.

And it's not just verbally! Many of us in business development do an amazing job keeping our true thoughts in check without speaking them but the nonverbal signs still come out -- flushed skin, increased speed in our speech, change in voice inflection just to name a few.

The key is not to judge ourselves for reacting, but to recognize it and build space between the trigger and the response.

7 Ways I’ve Learned to Shift from Reacting to Responding:

1. Pause Before You Reply: I give myself a moment to breathe—whether it’s an email or live conversation. That pause helps shift from instinct to intention.

2. Hydrate: I take water into most of my meetings. Water significantly improves mental clarity helps in mood regulation. Taking a sip of water before a response is always a good pause to get focused as well.

3. Use Fact-Based Language: I’ve moved away from “I feel like we’re doing a lot” to “Our last campaign led to a 22% increase in engagement among your target audience.”

4. Reframe Feedback as Insight: Instead of bristling at pushback, I ask: What is this telling me about their priorities or challenges?

5. Lead with Curiosity I often respond with, “Can you share more about what you’re hoping to achieve?” It opens the door to deeper collaboration.

6. Stay Mission-Aligned, Not Emotionally Attached: I protect the mission fiercely—but I stay flexible in how we partner to achieve it. That mindset shift has made a huge difference.

7. If via Email Start with a Draft: If I receive tough feedback or a challenging question, via email, I write my initial response—but don’t send it right away. Giving yourself time to step away and review it later allows you to remove emotional language, clarify your message, and ensure your reply reflects your organization’s values and goals. A thoughtful draft can serve as both a release valve and a foundation for a more composed, strategic response.

   
   

Why This Matters

Sponsors don’t expect us to be perfect—they expect us to be professional. When we respond rather than react, we show emotional intelligence, strategic intent, and a readiness to build something meaningful together. And that's a competitive advantage!

One Last Thought...The Competitive Advantage

We're all trying to figure out how to stand out from our competitors and that list of competitors, whether we realize it or not, is growing.

How we you show up in moments of pressure becomes part of your organization’s brand.

Responding—not reacting—is more than a communication style; it’s a competitive advantage. It signals to sponsors that your organization can weather challenges, collaborate with intention, and deliver with professionalism.

That kind of steadiness sets you apart—and makes you the kind of partner sponsors want by their side.